Starr Lores

I just blogged a day or two ago about an experience I had going through an old trunk at my Mom's. There were many things that I found that I neglected to acknowledge although I did mention finding old art of mine that reminded me of my level of creativity so many years ago. Specifically there was a framed piece of mine in that trunk that wasn't a painting but a large photograph. It was an assignment I had while attending San Jose State. The assignment dealt with self promotion. During that period of attending the university I befriended an art student. He was a year or two older than me and I was attracted to his talent, gregariousness but mostly an incredible confidence of which I was sorely lacking. He was also my first gay friend and being older than me and very popular I was introduced to a new world that I'd already accepted but knew so little about. David Starr was his name and he was willing to help me with this project. The photograph ( David choreographed and photographed it ) is of me laying on the diving board of a pool reading a magazine that was open to a page that had an ad in it. The ad was of me holding a magazine that had an ad of me holding a magazine that had an ad of me...you get the picture. It was called "Avancement De Soi"; self promotion in French. I loved David's flair for the dramatic and although I don't remember for certain I can't help but believe that he had some influence on the title. Finding this piece was a revelation; one of those missing things in your life that from time to time you ponder as to it's whereabouts. It was a mystery solved but what I didn't expect was all the memories finding it conjured. David would take me "out" for a drink and though I'd been to a few gay bars prior to David, I was a wallflower fearful of getting noticed or approached yet I wanted to observe and know more. Going with David threw me into the center of things and there was no hiding place when in his entourage. He would walk up to the best looking guy in the place and say the boldest things. I remember one time he walked up to a great looking guy that most would think unapproachable and say" I bet those clothes would look great rolled up and tossed in the corner". I would have a sense of awe, embarrassment and admiration at the nerve. David actually spent a lot of time that evening with that guy. At the time I lived in Santa Clara and after finishing school I moved to San Francisco . As things always do, our relationship changed and though David moved to the city as well and I would see him occasionally we didn't have the relationship that we did in school. The confidence that David had manifested itself into his career interests and though I wanted to emulate that I knew it would be a battle for me and a natural evolution for David. I was right. He did great things as a stylist and his clients were the socialites of San Francisco and beyond. I remember him naming things in his cosmetic line like "Drop Dead Red" for a lipstick and he would name things after his clients. One day when I was walking in Union Square I saw David on the corner. He had his two dogs with him and he was looking up to a billboard with a satisfied smile on his face. The billboard was of him ( I'm talking about a huge billboard that faces Union Square! ) and I knew at that moment that he knew he'd made it. I didn't approach him. I wanted that moment to be his. I know I would want to drink it all in if it was me. I really wish I had approached him, though. I thought about it later and regretted it for years. It had been a while since I'd seen David and I asked someone about him when I saw that his Bush Street salon was no longer there. The person I asked told me that he believed that he'd died of AIDS. I was so upset because I would never have the opportunity to tell David what he meant to me, what influence he had on me in those early years. I would think about him on occasion after that - a fleeting thought or memory would come to me. The other day I shared the find of the photograph with my friend David Urban from San Diego and told him for the first time about David Starr. I received an e-mail from David later telling me that on a whim he googled David Starr and he thought I should do the same. I immediately did and found shockingly that the story I'd heard years ago was false! David had moved to Rancho Mirage, had a partner and a thriving career. Unfortunately I also found out he'd had a massive heart attack of which he did not survive. Wow. All the years I would spend time in the Palm Springs area. I bet I walked by his shop a dozen times. I even had a gallery showing in Palm Springs and I would have loved for him to attend. I could have had my opportunity I'd regretted missing those years ago and didn't know it. David, writing this and putting it out in the universe is the best I can do. Can you feel it?