Smitten

Ok, I won't dwell. The puppies are home! Sophie and Spencer are a reality and exceed the joy we thought they'd bring. Every day is a new discovery...a new opportunity to deepen the bond. Lovin'them!

Always the Bridesmaid...

Yesterday Liz ( a girl I work with in my office ) approached me about considering writing a letter of recommendation for a school she is pursuing. Of course I was more than happy to oblige and flattered she would ask. She is bright, personable and motivated to make improvements in her career and has much potential. I wish her all the best. I have probably done the same for dozens of others as well. I have known so many that have gone on to pursue and attain their goals. Occasionally I'll bump into someone that I used to work with and the first thing they'll ask is "are you STILL there?... but you're SO talented". Will it ever be my time? I have worked in retail for most of my life. I have never considered it a career...ever. It has always been a vehicle; a means of taking care of my responsibilities so that I can pursue my dream. I have had countless opportunities for advancement that I have bypassed so my focus remains on my art. I'm certain that I'm perceived as one with little ambition. That couldn't be further from the truth. It is because of my ambition that I have never gone with the comfortable - the natural transition within my day job occupation. It never bothered me before. I knew what I was to become and there were better things on the horizon which I was working toward. I'm older now. I do my job well but it's simplistic and lacks challenge. It's ideal for one that is either working toward something else or lacks the drive to achieve better. It now embarrasses me. There was a time when my particular position was new to the company and I was able to create a dramatic increase in profits for them. They reflected this in my salary and bonuses and I became financially comfortable. The fire for my art was never extinguished but it was put on simmer. I'm grateful for that period of time. I wouldn't have been able to purchase my home without it; or so I thought at the time. Since then there have been many changes. My position is still necessary but no longer brings in revenue for the store and my compensation reflects that. With all the people that have come and gone I have never heard a tale of regret for having moved on. Ok, I've taken a dip in the pool of self-pity... now - time to dry off and focus on tossing the bouquet, not catching it! ( that's a metaphor, guys ) . Liz, don't forget to write.

I Think,Therefore I Worry

I think, therefore I worry - a phrase I recently saw on a T-shirt. It made me laugh because I thought it was so appropriate for me. Too bad I wouldn't be caught dead in a shirt with a phrase on it. This has been a period of time when that phrase has been particularly applicable. In my last blog I mentioned my wishes for us to be able to bring home a puppy, possibly two. It, in fact, is happening! I couldn't be happier that Mark feels the same way. The anticipation has been tremendous and so has the pressure of dealing with an online resource. Aileen, the breeder that we are purchasing the dogs from hasn't been anything less than wonderful yet you can't help but think of those poor folks that are on 20/20 that got suckered out of their life savings due to Internet scams. I was in the process of finalizing all the details on the phone with the breeder. Hanging up the phone, I was filled with excitement over being a step closer to having this be a reality. I noticed Mark was on the other line and he'd been waiting for me to complete my call. He handed me his phone with Margaret, his sister from North Carolina waiting to talk to me. I knew Mark had told his Mom about the pups and Margaret knowing was no surprise so I thought it was nice for her to call to congratulate us. That wasn't quite the reason for the call. When I got on the line she asked me what kind of research I'd done. "Don't you know there are scams out there"! "People create fake businesses - you'll be sending a very large sum of money to a stranger and may never see those dogs"! It was like someone dropped a bucket of ice on my head. I went from elation to a sort of depressed trepidation in 30 seconds. With both of us on our computers we searched for ways to try to find out if this would be a legitimate transaction. I could see in Mark's face that this was a rude awakening as well and that there was every possibility that instead of dealing with it he would back out. I wanted to cry but I knew that despite the way this information was introduced to me that Margaret was valid and there were things I hadn't done yet to make certain we wouldn't be taken advantage of . There just is no 100% guarantee when dealing over the Internet but I did find out that the AKC shows several registrations of litters from Aileen including ours. That was huge for me in feeling better but I still approached a contact in the English Toy Spaniel Club of America who, after a few conversations, went to the website where our dogs are pictured and confirmed that the puppies that we are interested in are indeed purebreds. Whew! They're not here yet and until they are I will definitely have much to worry about as it seems to be my nature. I worry about my luggage getting lost on a flight that requires a plane change, no less puppies being delivered! I look forward to being able to post their arrival very soon!

A Family Addition on the Horizon?

Sleeping was doubtful for last night but I managed to be able to. It's amazing how one's life can change in 24 hours. It hasn't yet but just having the potential...that's where I stand right now. There is the potential for a major change in our household. An addition; actually a doubling in size! I don't know what got in me yesterday. Going through the holidays without Oscar, our beloved English toy spaniel, was difficult. He's been so integrated into our lives, even now. His image is on ornaments, my screensaver and photographs throughout the house. The only word our bird Gaucho ever picked up was "Oscar" and he uses it daily to get our attention. I'll walk in the door and the first thing I hear is "Oscar baby"! In a weak moment while on the computer I made the critical error ( or the most fortunate one depending on how this turns out ) of going to Youtube to surf the videos. Of course I noticed a dog related one that I had to watch which led to the next one and the next and eventually I typed in "King Charles" and the waterworks started. As corny as some of them can be I was vulnerable to having my heartstrings tugged. After having Oscar for over 8 years and then having him pass away last year there has been an enormous void. He was responsible for making us a family and I've also missed being a dogowner; having that common bond with strangers that understand the love that a dog is capable of introducing into one's life. Mark came in to the room while I was at my worst. He misses Oscar as much as I do yet has managed to be the logical one. All the time that we had Oscar he had been feeling guilty leaving him alone at home while we both went to work. I never knew this and, honestly, I believe Oscar never minded. He was never one to be terribly interactive with other dogs and I think he liked having both of us to himself. Anyway, Mark walks over to the computer to see what has got me going and ends up sitting and watching with me. After exhausting the videos I googled English Toy Spaniel and found a website where I lost my heart. On the first page this face...staring at me. It must have been what Oscar looked like as a pup. We never got to know Oscar that young. Oscar wandered up to the back of our house one spring day. Mark happened to be working in the yard and saw this dog aimlessly sniffing this and that; obviously very tired and most likely very hungry. He was matted, dirty with no identification. I'd wandered to the back yard to find Mark and he was behind the fence talking to someone. When that someone turned around to look at me I lost it. Instant love. At the same time we felt a responsibility to find his owners. How could someone not be missing him? We posted signs, contacted shelters and put a notice in the newspaper. At first, Mark created a bed for him on the patio. Mark said if he wanted to go we would let him but if he stayed and we couldn't find his home he could stay. He stayed and he integrated into the household so seamlessly it was shocking. Perfectly behaved, housebroken and mindful. There was little training necessary. He brought incredible joy that we enjoyed for over 8 years. Unfortunately Oscar's passing was so difficult that Mark questioned whether he could ever go through that experience again. I'd bring up the possibility on occasion only to receive a negative response and it seemed as though it would never happen again. Yesterday morning seemed different. Here was this face looking out at the both of us. How old is the website? When was it updated last? Is this dog still available? Where is she? It turns out the breeder is in Tennessee. There's really no possibility of visiting to meet her. Mark agreed that I should write to the breeder to inquire as to availability and we e-mailed back and forth, having questions answered. She IS available. She COULD be ours. She COULD be sent to us. She's very petite but very healthy. In one of the e-mails she mentions that she has a few older dogs ( still puppies ) available as well. One of them is a boy, currently 11 pounds - red and white and a face...oh! Could we possibly consider them both? This breed is very expensive so it's a weighty decision. If it were up to me; well, it's not just me. It's torture seeing what I can envision as my future family on the screen waiting for a home. I have no idea as to this story's outcome at this point. As the weekend unfolds I'm sure I'll learn. Whatever's meant to be will be but I pray that this will happen.

Putting Away Ornaments is an Art Form

It's here. The time to remove Christmas from the house. For many reasons January is my least favorite month. Putting away Christmas is way up at the top of the list. It takes forever to get Christmas up in the first place. Mark has many facets to his business and one of them is decorating his client's homes for the holidays. In the past I knew to get him early; right after Thanksgiving, before he started on any of his client's homes. That's not possible any more. He has more than one client that loves having their home decorated and now he starts right after Halloween! That's too early for us. This year we got our tree mid-December but had to wait a week for Mark to be able to put up the lights. I can take it from there ( after decorating so many trees that's the last thing Mark wants to do at home ) but the tree wasn't finished until a few days before Christmas. Now the new year is here and we have projects we'd like to focus on and having the house decorated for the holidays seems to temper our enthusiasm. So, the ritual begins. Understand that we have been together for more than 27 years. That's 27 seasons of collecting ornaments. We have amassed an incredible amount and EVERY piece has meaning or a memory attached to it. We can't simply pack them away. No! They all have their individual boxes. These boxes are labeled with who's ornament it is; where it was purchased, the year it was purchased or if it was a gift, and from whom. Many of them are from particular designers and if they put out a catalog I have photocopied a picture of the ornament to help identify it and taped it in the box lid. I have also saved any original price ticket. There must be about 25 large plastic containers that we keep stored in the attic. I have tried my best to have as accurate a description of the ornament in it's lid for easy identification and it is very interesting how our descriptions vary between the two of us. This has caused duplicate boxes to be created when an ornament has been presumed missing and now, every year it is a major source of irritation. I think I'm being so clever when I write " elf head with blue eyes and green beret". Who knew we have three ornaments that fit that description? I try to describe them so that there's no mistaking them such as "heinous baby" and "antique testicle balls". This has worked well. Yes, they really look like testicles and "heinous baby" is butt ugly. I created what I call the"quandary chair". It's a location where I can put boxes that have yet to be mated with it's proper ornament. Our living room currently looks like the tornado scene from this season's "Desperate Housewives". Surprisingly, it has it's order and I think we're doing better this year than in the past. Now, to improve things further. Doesn't it make sense to have access to the larger ornaments first? It's frustrating to have alot of the tree decorated and then run into a carton of larger ornaments so I decided I need to organize the ornaments by size. S,M,L. Each ornament container is now marked according to the size of the ornament. I bought myself a present this year - containers that hold about 20 balls and have indentations for each individual ball. It's like art! Actually, putting away ornaments is an art form. Anyway, you can see through the lid and see every ornament without even opening it up! Each ornament lays there, unable to roll about or have to be wrapped in tissue. It warms my heart to see such organization. My little ornament family, each in it's cozy little bed. I have plans for next year. This will be the ultimate organizational improvement. I'm going to attach a number to each ornament and write that number in the lid of it's box. We can then lay all the ornaments around the room after we've taken them off the tree. Mark can call the number off the lid and since I will have placed the ornaments in numerical order I can go right to it! What do you think?