Yes, I did it. I actually got up out of my seat while watching the finale of "Dancing With the Stars" to see if I could mimic a few of the steps as performed by the finalists. Note to self: furniture shopping this weekend. I am wildly curious. I want to know if I have potential. I feel like I would be the biggest challenge to the unlucky professional that was assigned me but who knows? Haven't there been surprises this season? Would the fact that I have the tightest hamstrings on the west coast and that I can't bend to touch my toes ( or even close ) inhibit me?
What is one's potential in anything when you have the best assisting you toward a goal? Look at how much weight people lose on "The Biggest Loser". Their one focus for 3 months is the gym with their own personal trainer. Would they have accomplished what they have if they'd just joined a gym at home? I think not. So you professionals out there: your biggest challenge awaits. Imagine the accolades received when you deliver me to "dancer" status. Jaws will drop when viewing the "before" footage and sainthood will be discussed. Mold me!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Andrea Marcovicci InTown? Where Should I Hide?
Recently a friend of mine came up to me and asked "aren't you a big fan of Andrea Marcovicci's"?. I was shocked that I let anybody know that but I acknowledged that I was. She went on to tell me that she's been cast for a play or something that is to open next spring. I went cold. Emotions such as elation, anxiety and embarrassment flooded all my senses at once. Unfortunately my very selective memory has allowed every bit of what caused those emotions to stay with me. I'd done a good job of packing those memories up in a tight little box and labeling it "do not open - proof of foolishness enclosed". In my quest for my authentic self I will now reveal the cause of such angst.
I had to see Andrea in person. I remember her bit parts and cameos on TV and remembered hearing she evolved into a singing career and I was always drawn to her as a performer. She was performing at the Plush room in San Francisco. I had to go and I took my partner, Mark to, I think, opening night. The Plush room is intimate; small tables for two near the stage meant for cocktails during performances. One feels rather conspicuous sitting at one. It turns out the songs were love songs. Great...I'm sitting with a guy ( I'm gay but I have limits ) and she's singing love ballads. There was a particular song that she sang and she would focus on a pair at a table as she sang. Please don't come to our table! Please! Not only did she but it was the most sensitive part of the song. I didn't know what to do with myself. I grabbed my drink and reached for the straws to take a sip and the next thing I know the pair of straws went up my nose and stayed there as I pulled the glass away! She looked aghast mid-sentence and immediately moved to the next table. I was mortified and Mark wanted to put his coat over his head. I licked my wounds for days after. At the time I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue in the Men's Furnishings department. There was one day that I was rushing to work. I barely had time to shower and look somewhat presentable. I forgot to brush my teeth and put on deodorant. Not at all like me, just so you know. I consciously tried to help as few customers as possible yet it was fairly busy and I had no choice. I'm straightening the ties and happen to look up and who's coming my way...Miss Marcovicci! Run! Hide by the freight elevator. The doors had windows so I was able to monitor her actions. I couldn't possibly help her! She'd remember! Oh no! No deodorant and I began to sweat out of sheer anxiety. She was standing at the tie counter and no one was approaching her. I had no choice. I put a stick of Juicyfruit in my mouth and went out there. I asked her if I could assist her. There were a few ties she wanted to look at. If I looked familiar she was gracious enough not to acknowledge it. I was afraid to stand too closely, fearing the dampness under my arms would be offensive so I pulled each tie out and flung them on the counter with a slap ( didn't mean to ). She looked at me suspiciously but maintained her politeness. She asked me a question and as I went to answer her MY GUM flew out of my mouth but no, not entirely. Part of it stuck to my lower lip and as I spoke it would bounce on my chin. It happened so fast; I tried to scoop it back in with my tongue but kept missing . I had to peel it off with her inches away looking at me like I was an alien from space. She stared, shook her head and gave a hearty laugh and walked away.
It doesn't end there. Still performing at the Plush room and with time on her hands during the day she came in again the following week. As luck would have it I was the only one on the floor and once again was obliged to help her. What are the chances she'd forgotten? Could it be possible? If she remembered she didn't let on. I was the best smelling guy in San Francisco for months after the "incident" so perhaps she would think twice about me being the fool she had last week as a salesperson. She wanted to know if we had black turtlenecks. I told her that we'd sold out but I was recently at Macy's and saw some there. As she was leaving the department she walked by AN ENTIRE RACK of black turtlenecks. She took one by the hanger, waved it in the air and said " WHAT THE HELL IS THIS"?!. To this day I'm shocked an ambulance or at least paramedics weren't required. My knees buckled and the counter was the only thing preventing me from crumbling to the floor.
So, who wants to go with me next spring?
I had to see Andrea in person. I remember her bit parts and cameos on TV and remembered hearing she evolved into a singing career and I was always drawn to her as a performer. She was performing at the Plush room in San Francisco. I had to go and I took my partner, Mark to, I think, opening night. The Plush room is intimate; small tables for two near the stage meant for cocktails during performances. One feels rather conspicuous sitting at one. It turns out the songs were love songs. Great...I'm sitting with a guy ( I'm gay but I have limits ) and she's singing love ballads. There was a particular song that she sang and she would focus on a pair at a table as she sang. Please don't come to our table! Please! Not only did she but it was the most sensitive part of the song. I didn't know what to do with myself. I grabbed my drink and reached for the straws to take a sip and the next thing I know the pair of straws went up my nose and stayed there as I pulled the glass away! She looked aghast mid-sentence and immediately moved to the next table. I was mortified and Mark wanted to put his coat over his head. I licked my wounds for days after. At the time I worked at Saks Fifth Avenue in the Men's Furnishings department. There was one day that I was rushing to work. I barely had time to shower and look somewhat presentable. I forgot to brush my teeth and put on deodorant. Not at all like me, just so you know. I consciously tried to help as few customers as possible yet it was fairly busy and I had no choice. I'm straightening the ties and happen to look up and who's coming my way...Miss Marcovicci! Run! Hide by the freight elevator. The doors had windows so I was able to monitor her actions. I couldn't possibly help her! She'd remember! Oh no! No deodorant and I began to sweat out of sheer anxiety. She was standing at the tie counter and no one was approaching her. I had no choice. I put a stick of Juicyfruit in my mouth and went out there. I asked her if I could assist her. There were a few ties she wanted to look at. If I looked familiar she was gracious enough not to acknowledge it. I was afraid to stand too closely, fearing the dampness under my arms would be offensive so I pulled each tie out and flung them on the counter with a slap ( didn't mean to ). She looked at me suspiciously but maintained her politeness. She asked me a question and as I went to answer her MY GUM flew out of my mouth but no, not entirely. Part of it stuck to my lower lip and as I spoke it would bounce on my chin. It happened so fast; I tried to scoop it back in with my tongue but kept missing . I had to peel it off with her inches away looking at me like I was an alien from space. She stared, shook her head and gave a hearty laugh and walked away.
It doesn't end there. Still performing at the Plush room and with time on her hands during the day she came in again the following week. As luck would have it I was the only one on the floor and once again was obliged to help her. What are the chances she'd forgotten? Could it be possible? If she remembered she didn't let on. I was the best smelling guy in San Francisco for months after the "incident" so perhaps she would think twice about me being the fool she had last week as a salesperson. She wanted to know if we had black turtlenecks. I told her that we'd sold out but I was recently at Macy's and saw some there. As she was leaving the department she walked by AN ENTIRE RACK of black turtlenecks. She took one by the hanger, waved it in the air and said " WHAT THE HELL IS THIS"?!. To this day I'm shocked an ambulance or at least paramedics weren't required. My knees buckled and the counter was the only thing preventing me from crumbling to the floor.
So, who wants to go with me next spring?
Friday, November 9, 2007
A Body of Time Protected
I'm determined to save it; to have it remain pure and uncompromised ( not my virginity...please! ). I'm talking about a block of time that I'm protecting for just me. I've got vacation time to take from work before the end of the year. It's a total of 5 days and I'm adding it to my days off so with exception of a few days I have about a 2 week body of time. I intend on using it to finally start a new collection. I have ideas that have been burning in me for months and any time I attempt to have any of them realized an obligation rears it's ( not so ) ugly head so I hold off. Now don't get me wrong. These responsibilities are self-imposed. I'm fortunate enough to have frequent commissions and I have my greeting card business that keeps me consistently busy. This is actually the time that I'm the most busy as I focus on my Holiday 2007 collection and I am currently peddling those. That's why you haven't heard from me of late. Did you miss me? I'm working very hard now so that I will be as unencumbered as possible by the end of the month. What unforseen factors must I wage war against? I desperately need a new collection and I've been wanting to take my work in a new direction. I wish I could be Harry Potter and use my wand to put a spell on all those around me for that body of time...yes, everyone frozen in time except for me. Actually, it's Friday. I'd like to use it for my commute home, too!
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