A Family Addition on the Horizon?

Sleeping was doubtful for last night but I managed to be able to. It's amazing how one's life can change in 24 hours. It hasn't yet but just having the potential...that's where I stand right now. There is the potential for a major change in our household. An addition; actually a doubling in size! I don't know what got in me yesterday. Going through the holidays without Oscar, our beloved English toy spaniel, was difficult. He's been so integrated into our lives, even now. His image is on ornaments, my screensaver and photographs throughout the house. The only word our bird Gaucho ever picked up was "Oscar" and he uses it daily to get our attention. I'll walk in the door and the first thing I hear is "Oscar baby"! In a weak moment while on the computer I made the critical error ( or the most fortunate one depending on how this turns out ) of going to Youtube to surf the videos. Of course I noticed a dog related one that I had to watch which led to the next one and the next and eventually I typed in "King Charles" and the waterworks started. As corny as some of them can be I was vulnerable to having my heartstrings tugged. After having Oscar for over 8 years and then having him pass away last year there has been an enormous void. He was responsible for making us a family and I've also missed being a dogowner; having that common bond with strangers that understand the love that a dog is capable of introducing into one's life. Mark came in to the room while I was at my worst. He misses Oscar as much as I do yet has managed to be the logical one. All the time that we had Oscar he had been feeling guilty leaving him alone at home while we both went to work. I never knew this and, honestly, I believe Oscar never minded. He was never one to be terribly interactive with other dogs and I think he liked having both of us to himself. Anyway, Mark walks over to the computer to see what has got me going and ends up sitting and watching with me. After exhausting the videos I googled English Toy Spaniel and found a website where I lost my heart. On the first page this face...staring at me. It must have been what Oscar looked like as a pup. We never got to know Oscar that young. Oscar wandered up to the back of our house one spring day. Mark happened to be working in the yard and saw this dog aimlessly sniffing this and that; obviously very tired and most likely very hungry. He was matted, dirty with no identification. I'd wandered to the back yard to find Mark and he was behind the fence talking to someone. When that someone turned around to look at me I lost it. Instant love. At the same time we felt a responsibility to find his owners. How could someone not be missing him? We posted signs, contacted shelters and put a notice in the newspaper. At first, Mark created a bed for him on the patio. Mark said if he wanted to go we would let him but if he stayed and we couldn't find his home he could stay. He stayed and he integrated into the household so seamlessly it was shocking. Perfectly behaved, housebroken and mindful. There was little training necessary. He brought incredible joy that we enjoyed for over 8 years. Unfortunately Oscar's passing was so difficult that Mark questioned whether he could ever go through that experience again. I'd bring up the possibility on occasion only to receive a negative response and it seemed as though it would never happen again. Yesterday morning seemed different. Here was this face looking out at the both of us. How old is the website? When was it updated last? Is this dog still available? Where is she? It turns out the breeder is in Tennessee. There's really no possibility of visiting to meet her. Mark agreed that I should write to the breeder to inquire as to availability and we e-mailed back and forth, having questions answered. She IS available. She COULD be ours. She COULD be sent to us. She's very petite but very healthy. In one of the e-mails she mentions that she has a few older dogs ( still puppies ) available as well. One of them is a boy, currently 11 pounds - red and white and a face...oh! Could we possibly consider them both? This breed is very expensive so it's a weighty decision. If it were up to me; well, it's not just me. It's torture seeing what I can envision as my future family on the screen waiting for a home. I have no idea as to this story's outcome at this point. As the weekend unfolds I'm sure I'll learn. Whatever's meant to be will be but I pray that this will happen.