I'm Going To Blame it on Walgreens

Now that I'm committed to this trip there are some details I must tend to; one of which is updating my passport. I remember when I got that passport 14 years ago. I was so unhappy with my picture but too embarrassed to ask for a reshoot. It's not a document I need to use on a daily basis by any means but just knowing it existed bugged me. I haven't needed my passport in some time but now that it needs to be renewed I pulled it out of my file and filled out the proper forms for updating it by mail. I looked at the photo again and now I wish I could keep that one. Why was I so unhappy with it? It was decent enough. Who knows what my next one will look like. When I was filling out the form all the basic questions regarding my physical self needed updating. Not much has changed; still the same height and weight, eye color still brown, but wait... hair color. There aren't enough choices. No pun intended but there's no gray area here. Where's the distinguished salt and pepper option? Just gray? Just brown? Can't check brown so I have to go with gray. A stunning reality for me. Can't I check the "formerly brown but currently sprinkled" category? Well, I want to expedite all of this, so time for a picture. No time for glamour shots so I'll go to the convenient Walgreens across the street . It should only take a few minutes and I'm back at work. I walk in, request a passport photo and am escorted to the crackers and day old banana aisle where they have a well hidden pull down screen. There's nothing like preparing for a photo when you've got a line of people waiting to make their purchases wondering what the hell you're doing and scrutinizing your facial pose. I could feel my lips quivering in an attempt to smile but it was more like a grimace. Why did I think I'd look decent at 8:00 a.m.? In 10 seconds my pictures were taken. More time is taken capturing the image of dental floss for their weekly ad. I need two pictures to mail and two were taken; no more, no less. Oh boy! I get to choose from the "puffy face - eyes partially closed and skin bleached out by the flash" or "puffy face lip stuck on my tooth and bulbous nose due to the angle" shot. No, wait. I have to mail them both. I'm sure the very thoughtful recipient of those photos at the passport office will take much time deliberating on which to use. "Now, let's see...I know this means a lot to Todd so what's his best side?" I hope all the passport checkers in the countries I visit will be doing a double take once they see my passport in utter disbelief that this handsome creature could be so unphotogenic. Perhaps I'll look the other way when I hand it to them.